When the Game isn't Going to Plan
Playing your Way Forward after a Set Back
FROM BREAKDOWN TO BREAKTHROUGH
Playing Your Way Back into the Game of Life After a Setback
Life Lessons from the Beautiful Game
Tony Bryce
Series Creator & Head Coach
TACTICS® — Wisdom from the Beautiful Game
Originally written in 2021 • Revisited through a 2026 coaching lens
WHEN THE GAME ISN'T GOING TO PLAN
You've tried.
You've prepared.
You've put in the effort.
You've listened to advice, tried different approaches and done much of what you thought you were supposed to do.
And still the result hasn't come.
No breakthrough.
No obvious return on effort.
Perhaps things have actually become worse.
So what now?
The temptation is to immediately search for another answer.
Work harder.
Try again.
Think positively.
Change tactics.
Don't give up.
Any one of those might eventually prove useful.
But before deciding what you should do next, perhaps there's a more important first move.
Read the game.
Because when something isn't working, the answer isn't always more effort.
Sometimes we need persistence.
Sometimes we need a different game plan.
Sometimes we need help.
Sometimes we need rest.
Sometimes circumstances outside our control have changed the game.
And occasionally, the breakthrough is recognising that the goal itself needs reconsidering.
So rather than beginning with answers, let's begin with your game.
FIRST WHISTLE
What Happened?
Football moves quickly.
A goal goes in.
A player gets injured.
A decision goes against you.
A mistake changes the momentum.
Suddenly the game you're playing isn't the game you expected.
Life can change just as quickly.
Something doesn't work.
An opportunity disappears.
Someone says no.
A relationship changes.
Resources run low.
A carefully prepared plan fails.
Something completely outside your control enters the field.
Our natural instinct can be to rush immediately towards:
What am I going to do about this?
But there is another question worth asking first:
What actually happened?
Not what you feared happened.
Not what somebody else says happened.
Not yet what you're going to do about it.
Just:
What happened?
TOUCHLINE QUESTIONS
What were you hoping would happen?
What actually happened?
What surprised you?
What disappointed you?
What was within your control?
What wasn't?
What are you feeling about it now?
Don't rush through those questions.
Before changing the game, understand the game you're actually playing.
THE REPLAY
What Can You See Now?
One of the advantages of a replay is that it lets us see something again from another angle.
During the game we experience events at full speed.
Afterwards, we can look again.
That's the value of reflection.
Perhaps you missed something.
Perhaps the opposition did something unexpected.
Perhaps your plan was good but poorly executed.
Perhaps the plan itself wasn't right.
Perhaps you played well and still lost.
Perhaps something outside your control determined the outcome.
Or perhaps, with the benefit of hindsight, you can now see something you couldn't see while you were in the middle of it.
This isn't about finding somebody to blame.
And it isn't automatically about finding something wrong with you.
It's about learning to see.
VAR CHECK
Ask yourself:
What worked?
What didn't?
What did I learn?
What would I do differently?
What should I keep doing?
What remains unclear?
And perhaps:
Whose perspective might help me see something I'm currently missing?
Sometimes another pair of eyes helps us see a game we've become too close to read clearly.
RETURN ON EFFORT
When Trying Harder Isn't the Answer
Effort matters.
But effort and outcome aren't the same thing.
You can prepare well and lose.
You can make the right decision and experience an unwanted outcome.
You can work hard on something that isn't ready to yield.
And sometimes you can put enormous effort into a game plan that simply isn't working.
So when effort isn't producing the expected return, don't automatically increase the effort.
Read the game.
Ask:
Is the problem my effort?
My execution?
My timing?
My resources?
My game plan?
The opposition?
The conditions?
Or something I haven't yet recognised?
This distinction matters.
Because working twice as hard at the wrong thing doesn't necessarily move you twice as far forward.
Sometimes the breakthrough comes from effort.
Sometimes it comes from insight.
HALF-TIME
What Does the Game Need Now?
Half-time is an interesting moment.
The first half has happened.
You can't replay it.
But the game isn't finished.
That's what makes half-time valuable.
It's a place between what happened and what happens next.
Sometimes the team needs tactical instruction.
Sometimes encouragement.
Sometimes calming down.
Sometimes waking up.
Sometimes a substitution.
Sometimes no change whatsoever.
The challenge is knowing what this particular game needs.
Life has half-time moments too.
Moments when continuing at full speed isn't necessarily the wisest thing to do.
THE HALF-TIME TEAM TALK
What does your game need now?
Rest?
Perhaps you've been trying to solve something while exhausted.
Persistence?
Perhaps the plan is sound and simply needs time.
A change of approach?
Perhaps what worked in another season isn't working in this one.
More information?
Perhaps you don't yet understand the problem well enough.
Support?
Perhaps this isn't a game you need to play alone.
A substitution?
Perhaps something or someone different needs introducing.
A different tempo?
Perhaps you need to speed up — or deliberately slow things down.
Acceptance?
Perhaps something has happened that cannot be undone, and the next part of the game begins with acknowledging that reality.
Don't choose because one option sounds more courageous than another.
Choose because you've read the game.
RIGHT EFFORT. WRONG GAME PLAN.
Sometimes lack of progress isn't caused by laziness, weakness or insufficient determination.
You're working.
You're trying.
You're committed.
But the approach isn't producing the outcome.
That's different.
In football, a team can execute a tactical plan faithfully and still discover that it isn't suited to the game unfolding in front of them.
The coach then has a decision.
Persist?
Adjust?
Change formation?
Introduce somebody different?
Take fewer risks?
Take more?
The same question can arise in life.
COACHING QUESTION
Is your problem insufficient effort — or are you asking effort to rescue an ineffective game plan?
Don't condemn yourself for failing to run faster until you've checked whether you're running in the right direction.
THE SUBSTITUTION
A substitution doesn't necessarily mean the player leaving the field has failed.
Sometimes the game simply needs something different.
Fresh energy.
Different skills.
Another perspective.
A different relationship.
New knowledge.
Additional resources.
A change in role.
The same can happen in our lives.
Something that served you well in one season may no longer be what the present game requires.
That doesn't make the previous approach wrong.
The game may simply have changed.
TOUCHLINE QUESTION
What might need to come off the pitch — and what might need to come on?
That could be a habit.
An assumption.
A commitment.
A method.
A source of advice.
A way of thinking.
Or perhaps nothing needs substituting at all.
Sometimes the best coaching decision is to trust the team already on the pitch.
PERSIST OR PIVOT?
This is one of the hardest decisions in any setback.
Do I keep going or change direction?
There isn't a universal answer.
“Never give up” sounds inspirational until persistence becomes the very thing keeping you trapped.
“Know when to quit” sounds wise until we use it to abandon something that needed another attempt.
So rather than automatically choosing persistence or change, examine the game.
What evidence suggests the plan can work?
What has happened when you've tried before?
Are there signs of progress?
What is continued effort costing?
What would changing direction make possible?
Are you staying because you believe in the goal — or because you've already invested so much?
Are you leaving because it's wise — or because you're tired and discouraged?
Sometimes courage means staying.
Sometimes courage means changing.
Good game management is knowing which game you're in.
WHEN THE OPPOSITION IS STRONG
Sometimes the problem isn't that you're playing badly.
The opposition is simply formidable.
Perhaps you're competing for something against people with considerably greater resources, experience, influence or opportunity.
Perhaps circumstances themselves are against you.
In those moments, telling yourself merely to “be better” can miss the reality of the game.
Instead ask:
What am I actually facing?
And then:
Does this opposition need to be overcome, worked around, prepared for, accepted, challenged, or avoided altogether?
Not every opponent needs confronting head-on.
Sometimes the best pass goes around them.
Sometimes you need teammates.
Sometimes you need specialist help.
Sometimes you need to develop before playing this fixture again.
And sometimes wisdom is deciding that this particular contest isn't yours to play.
WHEN EMOTIONS ENTER THE GAME
Setbacks aren't merely tactical problems.
They affect us.
Frustration.
Anger.
Embarrassment.
Disappointment.
Fear.
Confusion.
Envy.
Weariness.
Perhaps even relief.
Those emotions contain information.
They don't automatically tell us what decision to make, but neither should they simply be ordered off the pitch.
A missed opportunity can hurt.
An unfair decision can make you angry.
Repeated setbacks can wear down confidence.
DRESSING ROOM QUESTION
Instead of immediately asking:
“How do I stop feeling this?”
try asking:
“What might this feeling be telling me about what matters here?”
Then give yourself enough space to decide what to do with that information.
You are more than the emotion.
But the emotion is part of the game.
LOOK AT THE WHOLE TEAM
Sometimes one thing needs attention.
Sometimes several things are interacting.
That's where systems thinking becomes useful.
Your results aren't produced by one part of your life operating in isolation.
Your thinking affects decisions.
Your relationships affect resilience.
Your health affects energy.
Your resources affect options.
Your emotions affect responses.
Your goals affect direction.
Your learning affects capability.
And all of them interact.
So instead of immediately asking:
“What's wrong with me?”
a more useful question might be:
“What's happening across my team?”
Perhaps one position needs strengthening.
Perhaps several players aren't linking well.
Perhaps the system needs adjustment rather than the individual needing condemnation.
This idea eventually became central to the TACTICS® Starting XI.
Sometimes the breakthrough isn't found by staring harder at the scoreboard.
It's found by looking at the team producing the performance.
THE NEXT PASS
After analysis comes action.
But it doesn't have to be a dramatic action.
When something has broken down, we often want the breakthrough to be equally dramatic.
Sometimes it is.
But often recovery begins with something much smaller.
A conversation.
An email.
A night's sleep.
An appointment.
An apology.
A boundary.
A new piece of information.
Another attempt.
Stopping something.
Starting something.
Asking for help.
YOUR NEXT PASS
Ask yourself:
What remains within my agency?
Then:
What is one useful action I can take from here?
Not the entire comeback.
Not the rest of the season.
Just the next pass.
Make that one.
Then read the game again.
WHAT DOES BREAKTHROUGH MEAN NOW?
This may be the most important question in this whole conversation.
When the setback first happened, breakthrough probably meant:
Getting the result I originally wanted.
Perhaps it still does.
But maybe your understanding has changed.
Breakthrough might now mean:
trying again with a better approach.
Or:
recovering sufficiently to play again.
It might mean:
learning something that changes future decisions.
asking for help.
accepting something you cannot change.
changing the goal.
walking away from something that no longer deserves your investment.
discovering another route.
rebuilding.
beginning again.
Or yes:
finally getting the result you've worked towards.
The point is that you don't have to define breakthrough exactly as you did before the breakdown.
Sometimes the breakthrough is the scoreline.
Sometimes it's seeing the game differently.
IT'S A FUNNY OLD GAME
Football doesn't always reward the team that played best.
The ball hits the post.
The goalkeeper has the game of their life.
A decision goes against you.
A deflection changes everything.
You dominate and lose.
You struggle and somehow win.
It's a funny old game.
Life can be like that too.
Good decisions don't guarantee perfect outcomes.
Hard work doesn't guarantee success.
Excellent preparation doesn't remove uncertainty.
And good tactics don't guarantee the scoreline.
Good tactics help us play the game more wisely.
That's enough reason to keep learning.
So when life goes against the run of play, don't automatically conclude that you've failed.
Look again.
Read the game.
Learn what can be learned.
Get help where help would be useful.
Rest if you need to.
Change something if the game requires it.
Persist if that's what the evidence suggests.
And when you're ready:
make the next pass.
FROM BREAKDOWN TO...
Perhaps we should leave the final word unfinished.
Because I don't know what your breakthrough needs to look like.
That's something your game will reveal.
But I do know this:
A breakdown doesn't have to have the final word.
There may be another formation.
Another teammate.
Another insight.
Another opportunity.
Another season.
Another way of seeing what happened.
Another pass.
So don't rush past the breakdown merely because you want the breakthrough.
Look at it.
Learn from it.
Decide what the game needs now.
And then, when you're ready,
play on.
Tony Bryce
Series Creator & Head Coach
TACTICS® — Wisdom from the Beautiful Game
Setting you up for the game of your life.
